Not so Merry Xmas

Well holidays always make me wanna die anyhow, but today was extra special. I was doing a random survey on myspace when it asked a simple question. If you had 3 months to live, would you be scared?

Well origionally I said no, then I started thinking, I'd only be scared if everyone knew I was dying but noone really cared. Then I started thinking of sitting my family down and telling them that i had 3 months to live. Which of course led me to start imagining thier reactions, which inspired this gem of a script.

It is meant to be funny, but if any members of my family are insulted, well then that prolly means its truer than i intended it to be, so no apologies either way.

Me"Ok guys i've got 3 months to live"

Cousins: "Oh im sorry, that , you know, sucks. Umm well we're gonna miss you"

Sister1: "I'm want your ipod"

Sister2: "Pikachu!"

Brother1: "Die you Motherf*cker!!! Aw man sorry i have no idea what ur talking about i was totally pwning this noob on COD. Whats the deal?"

Brother2: "Darwin would call this survival of the fittest, you see when... (keeps talking)"

Gma: "You know what? We should have a party before she leaves,you know get everyone together one last time"

Aunt 1: "Well the girls have school and thier dancing so we're pretty much booked till the end of March"

Me: "Uh yea ill pretty much be dead by then"

Aunt 2: "And my kids have soccer, music and art so we are busy as well"

Gma: "Well maybe just a small lunch on sunday"

Aunt 1: "Choir practice"

Gma: "Brunch on saturday?"

Aunt 2: "Soccer games"

Gma: "What about on Erica's brithday, thats usually a good time for a party?"

Family (in unison): "When's her birthday?"

Gma: "Hmm, good point. Well i guess no party then"

Dad: "Whoa i have a daughter?"

Mom: "You know Erica i told you this would happen"

Me: "You mean me developing a random illness that will kill me in three months? How on earth could you have known that"

Mom: "Well i told you not to get sick"

Me: "Right, i forgot, not get sick, didnt realize it was so simple"

Step-dad: "Dont have sex"

Me: "Wait what does that have to do with anything?"

Sister1: "Hey i totally just lost my job!"

Gma: "We should throw her a party, get the whole family together to celebrate her unemployment"

Family (in unison): "Hell yea, lets party B**chs!!"

Dad: " Whoa, i have TWO daughters???!!"

Me: "I welcome death"

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Sister2: "Pikachu"